TESTIMONIES |
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They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11
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 I've been given the honor to participate in Dare to Change, an international Ex-LGBT conference in Taipei, Taiwan from 8-11 November 2018. More than 15 Ex-LGBT's from 15 different nations came to celebrate love and transformation through Jesus Christ. Not only we were given the chance to share publicly what God has done in our life but we were able to make new connections and encourage each other in this journey. I was extremely blessed by this initiative
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 Many transgender persons regret what they did to their bodies and souls, and some are pleading that others not repeat their mistake.
Robert Wenman was four years into being a “full-time” transgender woman in Ontario, Canada, when a police officer asked him: “You got all your legal rights by now. Why don’t you just enjoy life as a woman?” The question left the then-LGBT activist stuttering: Here he was, training a group of law enforcers on transgender rights, yet he couldn’t answer a basic question: Why? Why was he still campaigning, still fighting?  I sold my soul to “the god of this world”. He had the face of an angel. He said I could have it all. I traded the truth for lies. I followed my deceitful heart. I was crowned prince, dressed in Burberry and flown to New York, Los Angeles and Miami. The house music was spellbinding. I chatted up celebrities. I was ushered to the front of long lines and through the doors of exclusive clubs.
On September 11, 2001, I woke up out of a drunken stupor and turned on the TV. Immediately I started crying. It reminded me that the Lord is coming back in judgment (Matthew 24:37-39). Having no peace, I was terrified. For work, I moved from Pittsburgh to Boston to Washington, DC and then back to Pittsburgh. My gay life peaked in the bigger cities and then slowed down in Pittsburgh where gay life was less distracting. I was alone with my thoughts. Cursing and screaming at my family, I had pushed away those who would not actively endorse my lifestyle. One day on Facebook, Christians tried to tell me that I needed to repent. I viciously attacked them. I hated the church.  Since my childhood I was somewhat effeminate. I didn't understand that time why I was like this... but that hurt me a lot because some of the boys laughed at me because of that. So I couldn't go outside to be among other boys. I always stayed at my home. When I was 8 years old my father sent me to his sister's house for good education because there wasn't any good school in my village. There I became so lonely and I suffered from home sickness. I missed my family very much there. However I became a good student in my study there and that's why the boys at my school didn't laugh at me. They respected me there because I was a good student.
There was someone who's like a brother to me in my neighbourhood there. He was older than me. We were friends. Because of my effeminate and shy nature, he used me in sexual ways for a month. At that time I didnt know anything about sex but somewhere in my heart I felt that it was wrong. So I started to ignore him. He always tried to get hold of me to use me for his sexual fantasies and that's why I stopped going out. I left home only when I had to go to school or to a different direction. A year after, one of my distant relatives tried to rape me while we were sharing the bed. Somehow I escaped. These incidents in my life led me to homosxeual feelings. Growing up, I had some feelings for the opposite sex too but the feelings for the same sex were stronger and the latter overcame the first.  When I was a boy, I was sexually molested and abused for many years by older men. The abuse started when I was 6 years old the same time my father left my mother and I. Then my mother came to United States to work, leaving me in the care of my two great aunts. At this time I began to feel same sex attractions. When I got older, I became involved with older homosexuals and bisexual men. At the age of sixteen I started to identify as been a female and began dressing as a female. Then at the age of 35, I met a man who I thought was a woman. We spent a great deal of time together. A few months later I was on my way to becoming a transgender woman. Like my friends, I was attending support groups that helped me to become psychologically prepare for the transition from male to female.
Time passed by and I was happy with the changes. My personality was different. However, as the time went by, I became depressed. I was never able to be happy. My relationships were unfulfilling. So it was all in vain. At one point, I was so depressed and lonely that I wanted to kill myself. Later I fell deathly ill of HepC with cirrhosis of the liver because the life-style I have being living. The doctors informed me that there was nothing they can do to help me. At this point I became bitter and very angry with God because I asked him many times to remove the same sex attraction from me and it never happened.  Becket Cook was sipping champagne at a Fashion Week after-party in Paris when the thought hit him: “Is this what I’m going to do for the rest of my life?” He looked around at the sea of beautiful, accomplished, air-kissing people surrounding him and suddenly felt so alone, terrified, and empty that he left the party early.
As a Hollywood production designer, Cook was living a lifestyle most people only read about in gossip tabloids. He received invites to movie premieres and fancy ceremonies such as the Oscars and the Golden Globes. He schmoozed at elite parties and luncheons at A-list celebrities’ homes. And yet, all the noise and glamour were losing their luster. As a gay atheist, Cook had enough of a Catholic upbringing in Texas to know homosexuality and God were incompatible, and giving up his gay identity felt impossible and unnatural.  I realized I was attracted to same sex in my early 20's. To put it simply, I thought I was waiting for the right girl and one day I realized I was actually waiting for the right boy. I'm a Christian because firstly I found that following Jesus has transformed my life. It has made my life much more exciting and real. Secondly because I believe it's utterly credible that Jesus actually did rise from the dead and that is the most important thing ever happened in history.
We seem to have this strange idea in our culture that sexual orientation dictates what your sexual identity should be. When I began my journey, accepted my same sex attraction, I made the commitment to be single and I began to explore what it meant to be same sex attracted Christian and what my sexual identity was. I started reading the Bible and realized that the Bible doesn't talk about gay or straight people. It just talks about man and woman. So I realized I was constraining myself by calling myself gay. I was limiting what God could actually do. So I just dropped thinking of myself as gay or homosexual. I just started thinking of myself as a man and as a man when I read throughout the Bible, I was called to be either single or married. So I was going to stay single until God brought someone to my life. |
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