Ex-Gay: Jesus Is My Lord, Not Just My Savior

Sexually abused, pornography, promiscuity, depression, suicidal thoughts, unwanted same-sex attraction, all these subjects is all I'm going to talk about because all these mean my life.

My name is Carlos Catari and I'm from Venezuela, I'm 32 years old but now I'm living in Canada. From the age of 5 to 12 years old I went through sexual abuse. So at early age I developped hypersexuality. My only focus as I grew up was to look for sex. I was always looking for sex. In fact at the age of 15 I was already into prostitution. At some point I decided to speak with my sister to talk about what was going on in my life and also to come out to her, telling her that I was gay. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't even understand it. So she talked with my mom and my mom came up to me in tears asking me something that I had never thought about. She asked me, "Carlos what if you were never sexually abused? Would you still be gay?" And then I said, "What?" I have never thought about that. But in fact this question: "What if you were never sexually abused? Would you still be gay?" haunted me from that point on. It might be true. But at that point I was already gay. I told them, "Listen, I'm gay." Despite that, she decided to make an appointment with a psychologist. From the first meeting we had I could understand that all that happened to me wasn't my fault. Before, I believed it was my fault. So she told me something that I never thought about, "Carlos, whether you will be gay or straight, let this be your choice and not the decision of someone else in your past." I really liked this. I liked the fact that I could decide my life

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