I sold my soul to “the god of this world”. He had the face of an angel. He said I could have it all. I traded the truth for lies. I followed my deceitful heart. I was crowned prince, dressed in Burberry and flown to New York, Los Angeles and Miami. The house music was spellbinding. I chatted up celebrities. I was ushered to the front of long lines and through the doors of exclusive clubs.

On September 11, 2001, I woke up out of a drunken stupor and turned on the TV. Immediately I started crying. It reminded me that the Lord is coming back in judgment (Matthew 24:37-39). Having no peace, I was terrified.

For work, I moved from Pittsburgh to Boston to Washington, DC and then back to Pittsburgh. My gay life peaked in the bigger cities and then slowed down in Pittsburgh where gay life was less distracting. I was alone with my thoughts.

Cursing and screaming at my family, I had pushed away those who would not actively endorse my lifestyle. One day on Facebook, Christians tried to tell me that I needed to repent. I viciously attacked them. I hated the church.

My experience of same sex attraction started very early in my life. I didn't really have a word for it at that time. I didn't understand what I was feeling. I remember at school playing ground and when all the kids would be playing kiss chase, for some reason I wanted to chase the boys. Those feelings stayed with me and I never understood. And when puberty started, suddenly I became aware of this word for what I thought I was feeling. When I was about 14 I had my first sexual experience with a friend. That led on then to actually I fully immersed in gay life. I started going to gay pubs and clubs at the age of 14. I lived within the gay community for over 20 years, fully identifying myself as a gay individual. Within that time I have experienced a whole range kind of experiences from the gay community. I attended gay pride marches. I was political on being vocal on my rights of who I thought I was. I was in a relationship for over 12 years. ​