The Beginning

My name is Michael Edward Ukus. I am writing the story of my life to prove that God exists dan that He is always there in my life.

I'm the second child of three siblings. We lived with our parents in Manado. After enrolling to a Christian university in Manado to study theology, we found that that our parents were in the process of getting a divorce. Unexpectedly we received a letter from the court asking us to attend the divorce trial. Honestly as their children we were very heartbroken by this news. My dad left us and my mom had to work really hard to provide for us. It broke our heart to see how hard she had to work to the point of getting sick and even fainting because of fatigue. This really destroyed me personally and I couldn't continue my study because of it. I thought there was no point studying theology if my parents were getting a divorce. In the end I no longer had any desire to study and stopped doing Christian activities at my campus. That's when the Enemy took an advantage.

I sold my soul to “the god of this world”. He had the face of an angel. He said I could have it all. I traded the truth for lies. I followed my deceitful heart. I was crowned prince, dressed in Burberry and flown to New York, Los Angeles and Miami. The house music was spellbinding. I chatted up celebrities. I was ushered to the front of long lines and through the doors of exclusive clubs.

On September 11, 2001, I woke up out of a drunken stupor and turned on the TV. Immediately I started crying. It reminded me that the Lord is coming back in judgment (Matthew 24:37-39). Having no peace, I was terrified.

For work, I moved from Pittsburgh to Boston to Washington, DC and then back to Pittsburgh. My gay life peaked in the bigger cities and then slowed down in Pittsburgh where gay life was less distracting. I was alone with my thoughts.

Cursing and screaming at my family, I had pushed away those who would not actively endorse my lifestyle. One day on Facebook, Christians tried to tell me that I needed to repent. I viciously attacked them. I hated the church.

God has revealed Himself in my life more real than the air we breathe. Let me start from the beginning and to the point. Since I was a child, life did not treat me like I would have wanted it too. Being the youngest of 12 children, my parents literally abandoned us in my homeland of Mexico due to a severe destructive relationship between my parents. That left us devastated and it completely destroyed our family composition. From that moment on, I was taken to the capital of Mexico (Mexico City). There I was taken by my sister’s father in law, who decided to use me as his slave, forcing me to work as his servant and subjecting me to humiliation and violence. At 6 years old, I was brought to the United States by my biological mother, who had gone back to rescue me. Here in the United States, I was sexually molested by my mother’s boyfriend. I was not sure at the moment, but all I wanted was to be accepted and loved. Later on, I was left in guardianship of my eldest brother. Life was good for a few years. I realized though that throughout my early years, for some reason I was not familiar too, I was starting to acknowledge that I had an attraction for the same sex. ​