TESTIMONIES |
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11
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TESTIMONIES |
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11
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I've been given the honor to participate in Dare to Change, an international Ex-LGBT conference in Taipei, Taiwan from 8-11 November 2018. More than 15 Ex-LGBT's from 15 different nations came to celebrate love and transformation through Jesus Christ. Not only we were given the chance to share publicly what God has done in our life but we were able to make new connections and encourage each other in this journey. I was extremely blessed by this initiative
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The Beginning
My name is Michael Edward Ukus. I am writing the story of my life to prove that God exists dan that He is always there in my life. I'm the second child of three siblings. We lived with our parents in Manado. After enrolling to a Christian university in Manado to study theology, we found that that our parents were in the process of getting a divorce. Unexpectedly we received a letter from the court asking us to attend the divorce trial. Honestly as their children we were very heartbroken by this news. My dad left us and my mom had to work really hard to provide for us. It broke our heart to see how hard she had to work to the point of getting sick and even fainting because of fatigue. This really destroyed me personally and I couldn't continue my study because of it. I thought there was no point studying theology if my parents were getting a divorce. In the end I no longer had any desire to study and stopped doing Christian activities at my campus. That's when the Enemy took an advantage. I’m a pastor of Seoul Calvary Chapel and the leader of Holy Life, an ex-gay movement. I became attracted to men since I was in adolescence for no reason and I started living as a homosexual. I thought that I was born gay. I was ashamed of myself and felt guilty so I didn’t tell this to anyone. I drifted into the gay lifestyle.
I did some work in the theater in my 20s and I was also the owner of a dress shop and the designer. After failing in my business, I decided to be a Buddhist monk,. When I was 27 years old, my mom who knew my identity, left a desperate message and committed suicide because she was not able to persuade me to come back. I lived as a loser after she died. When I was 30 years old, a woman introduced me to Christ and I met Jesus. I became a Christian but still lived as a homosexual. Nobody taught me what the word of God said about homosexuality. Many transgender persons regret what they did to their bodies and souls, and some are pleading that others not repeat their mistake.
Robert Wenman was four years into being a “full-time” transgender woman in Ontario, Canada, when a police officer asked him: “You got all your legal rights by now. Why don’t you just enjoy life as a woman?” The question left the then-LGBT activist stuttering: Here he was, training a group of law enforcers on transgender rights, yet he couldn’t answer a basic question: Why? Why was he still campaigning, still fighting? When I was a boy, I was sexually molested and abused for many years by older men. The abuse started when I was 6 years old the same time my father left my mother and I. Then my mother came to United States to work, leaving me in the care of my two great aunts. At this time I began to feel same sex attractions. When I got older, I became involved with older homosexuals and bisexual men. At the age of sixteen I started to identify as been a female and began dressing as a female. Then at the age of 35, I met a man who I thought was a woman. We spent a great deal of time together. A few months later I was on my way to becoming a transgender woman. Like my friends, I was attending support groups that helped me to become psychologically prepare for the transition from male to female.
Time passed by and I was happy with the changes. My personality was different. However, as the time went by, I became depressed. I was never able to be happy. My relationships were unfulfilling. So it was all in vain. At one point, I was so depressed and lonely that I wanted to kill myself. Later I fell deathly ill of HepC with cirrhosis of the liver because the life-style I have being living. The doctors informed me that there was nothing they can do to help me. At this point I became bitter and very angry with God because I asked him many times to remove the same sex attraction from me and it never happened. Two years have passed so far and the Lord was helping me and disciplining me. Before that, I was just a human bound with evil and thrown in its deepest pit.
Ever since I was a child i suffered from evil for I was sexually molested. Moreover, I grew up during war times and my country Lebanon was collapsing.. and I was collapsing along. At home, i used to feel so lonely, usual and weird. At the age of 4, I lost my father and didn’t have the chance to know him well. Oh how often I threw myself over his bed, hoping he’d come and embrace me, wishing I’d be able to cry out and express the fear, terror and unease I felt toward my defiled body. How I needed to express how disturbed my mind was as I was so ignorant of my situation. I was born in a catholic family. My parents are very devout and so they hammered in me when I was little Catholic values, such as going to Masses, giving thanks to the Lord, being modest. I’ve also always gone to catholic schools since I was in kindergarten. When I was little, a lot of people made remarks that I was different, in the sense that I was “girly”. Mainly because most of my friends were girls and that my role models were feminine: Sailor Moon, Kimberley from Power Rangers (Ranger Pink – I wanted to be her J). Then, those remarks became insults. It began with “pretty boy”, then sissy, gay, then faggot, etc. It really affected my confidence. I became more timid and I kept most things to myself. It became worse at middle school because I went to an all-boys school. Not only did they insult me but also the boys would stay away from me. I had problems accepting that I was a boy – I always felt awkward in my own body and had problems making friends.
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Not The Same Love is a book about God's redeeming love over homosexuality
Pas Le Même Amour est un livre sur l’amour de Dieu qui nous libère de l’homosexualité
Bukan Cinta Sejenis adalah sebuah buku tentang cinta Tuhan yang membebaskan kita dari homoseks
Il Vero Amore è un libro sull'amore di Dio che ci libera dall'omosessualità