Ex-Gay: Jesus at The Center

God has revealed Himself in my life more real than the air we breathe. Let me start from the beginning and to the point. Since I was a child, life did not treat me like I would have wanted it too. Being the youngest of 12 children, my parents literally abandoned us in my homeland of Mexico due to a severe destructive relationship between my parents. That left us devastated and it completely destroyed our family composition. From that moment on, I was taken to the capital of Mexico (Mexico City). There I was taken by my sister’s father in law, who decided to use me as his slave, forcing me to work as his servant and subjecting me to humiliation and violence. At 6 years old, I was brought to the United States by my biological mother, who had gone back to rescue me. Here in the United States, I was sexually molested by my mother’s boyfriend. I was not sure at the moment, but all I wanted was to be accepted and loved. Later on, I was left in guardianship of my eldest brother. Life was good for a few years. I realized though that throughout my early years, for some reason I was not familiar too, I was starting to acknowledge that I had an attraction for the same sex. ​

During my teenage years, I was presented with the gospel of Jesus Christ and I gladly accepted it because I was so devastated by my life up to that point. I was not truly able to grasp the True essence of the Gospel of Christ, for I struggled with same sex attractions and I did not know how to deal with it. During my late teenage years, my family separated again. During that time, I turned to the church I was attending for help, and to my horrible surprise, they did not help me, even though I tried numerous times. These, and a couple other turn of events pushed me to completely turn my back on God, hating anything that had to do with God. I then completely opened my life to unstoppable destructive behavior. I met some guys my age that were living the homosexual lifestyle at one of our local city colleges and I was drawn in to their lifestyle. I decided to follow the homosexual disposition, along with heavy partying. I started to do many different drugs and became a heavy drinker. I was exposed to a form of witchcraft that, at the moment, I thought was the main point in life. I opened up the door to my heart to the occult, drugs, partying and homosexual lifestyle. But throughout this whole time, Jesus Christ did not give up on me. Numerous times was I reminded of His Perfect Love and Amazing Sacrifice by His servants that happen to just cross my path on any given day, but my heart was as hard as stone. 

Because of the partying, I lost everything and became homeless. During these times, none of my family wanted to help me. All the people that stated that they were my friends, did not help me and I was living on the streets for close to a year (sleeping under trees, bridges and abandoned houses). I hated my life so much, until one day an awesome man and his wife came into my life and presented the love of Christ to me like I had never seen it before. With their help, God helped me to realize how much he loved me and that the way I was living was destructive and the witchcraft I was practicing was nothing more than a lie from the devil and was evil and offensive to God. God used my homelessness to bring me back to His Loving arms realizing that I own destructive lifestyle was destroying me and that the devil hated me and wanted me dead both physically and spiritually. I completely repented one day and asked God to take away everything that was not pleasing to Him. I was set free from witchcraft, drugs and I stopped living a homosexual life. 

All of this sounded amazing, and now that I look back, I realized that I had built a very unhealthy dependency on my past pastors, who were the couple that had helped me. I strongly believed that without them, I could not get close to God, and that I was only completely free from sin through them. Only two years after I had attempted to leave every sinful and dark action, my ex-pastor’s wife left the church I was attending for personal reasons and I was devastated. Because of my unhealthy dependency on them, and I left the church and left God and sadly, I picked up most of my old habits, including drugs, heavy alcohol drinking and homosexuality. The enemy used these events and I ended up leaving the church. My ex-pastor was never the same either. I started to focus on other things. I started college again and focused on getting an education. I ended up getting my Master’s Degree in Social Work. But without Christ in my life, my life was chaotic after my graduation. I moved out of my student housing I became homeless once again, again my family did not want to help me and only a few friends help me a little, but not enough for my situation; I was sleeping on the streets from city to city. I was drinking so much that I was admitted to the hospital days at a time, over 10 times because of my stubborn heart, but God kept me alive because of His mercy and ultimate plan for my life.

At the beginning of 2015, my life was a wreck, and I realized that I was in such a desperate state for repentance and the restoring Love of Jesus Christ. I was able to get and income flow, and I rented a room in a home. So, one night around May 2015 in my desperation, I cried out to Jesus Christ by myself in my room. I asked Him for help and for forgiveness for my stubbornness and all of my sins. I renounce that spirit of homosexuality and all darkness and destructive ways because I knew deep in my heart I need to do this. I felt God that night and I cried like I hadn’t cried in a long time. I felt the Spirit of Christ enter my being and all darkness left my being. I felt a healing from Christ that night. From that night forward, I felt completely different. I started to feel free from homosexuality, drugs and alcohol abuse. I was also getting healed from all the hurt the enemy had caused in my life. I literally felt as a new creation. I truly experienced the scripture, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come, the old is gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am now washed, justified and made holy in the name of Jesus Christ and the Spirit of God (reference to 1 Cor. 6:11). I now live a life free from homosexuality, drug and alcohol abuse, witchcraft and all forms of darkness. I have developed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that is not defendant on other, but just on Jesus Christ. I now life a holy life because Jesus Christ has made me holy and I am now a new creation. I am enjoying the new life has given me. I can truly say, God exists, Jesus Christ died for our sins and resurrected and we can have a new life in Him!!!!

Carlos A. Garcia