Ex-Gay Found Love in Jesus Christ

As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:15

Today for the message I'm about to give you many people have been persecuted, driven out, and killed. Many hide because of Him. However He is the truth and life.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. John 1:10

I had high risk addictive behaviors. I was addicted to sex and I had mental and eating disorder as well as suicidal thoughts. My life was a living hell... but that hell cannot hold me anymore.

...I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. Matthew 16:18

The world and society convinced me that what I experiences was normal and if the hell I just told you about shocks you, know that many people experience it and accept it as something normal and even nationalized. What I experienced and what you may experience now is far from normal. You were not created for that. And if you decide to ignore this message I just gave you, it may go away from your life.

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. Mark 8:35

I couldn't get out of the situation I was in. It was as if I was moving in a quicksand. I tried to change, to fix myself... but I always failed. I didn't know what could help me to get out of that situation.

For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. Matthew 18:11

I lost hope several times. I never really thought that my life is worth a great deal. I didn't have a clue of how my future would be and what it could bring. And just when I wanted to end it all, I was caught by Him and all the hell I was living began to crumble under me by the single sound of His voice.

As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard. Acts 4:20

As I entered adolescence, I began to experience same sex attraction. And in my 20s I began to live the homosexual life style because I was convinced that this kind of love is normal and besides it felt good to me. I felt like I could live as a gay man. I accumulated experience in this life style and dove deeper in it.

Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
Isaiah 55:7

On the day someone molested me during my sleep, I felt a foul atmosphere in the room. And after I finished struggling and he left, I felt like I was surrounded by darkness until I heard His voice saying, "He will lift you up again."

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.
Psalm 29:3

And at that moment the darkness enclosing me disappeared suddenly. I remember waking up from where I was shocked and I even disproportionally felt a sense of peace regarding what just happened.

From that day I began to feel His presence. I called Him God. After the storm, peace come but a few months after I met another man and this time it really felt like going down to hell.

He no longer talked to me. After years of wandering and looking for Him with all my effort, I didn't know if He was still there.

It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize
it was I who healed them.
I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts
a little child to the cheek,
and I bent down to feed them.
Hosea 11:3-4

After a professional failure, I decided to go abroad... and He spoke to me once again. He told me that this time He will really deliver me. After I left, I experienced a lot of things and I began do understand more things about myself and even about Him. But when I returned to France, I was still the same, nothing has changed.

When I was back in France, I realized I wanted to go again. After staying there for a month, I went away again because I wanted to start all over again somewhere else and on the day of my departure He told me, "I want to live with you."

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. Revelation 3:20

When I arrived there, I felt more miserable than before. I was enslaved by my addictions and hurt. I was looking for strangers to have sex with, I wasn't eating properly, and I didn't know what was good for me.

Until one day He showed me what's in the depths of my heart and I felt ashamed. It was like a cancer that's been devouring me for years, like a parasite living inside my stomach and sucking the life out of me while discharging its poison to the deepest part of myself. I was ashamed and afraid that anyone would know about this but that's when I decided to bring everything to Him even if that means that everyone would know. I've heard about Him and I knew He could set me free.

All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. John 6:37

I understood that He suffered for us, that He came down to carry in our place a burden that is too heavy for us. As I thought about His suffering and how he was pared down, tortured, and killed in a way beyond our imagination, my sufferings began to scream.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

I spent the next three days just weeping and my heart was really broken. Even though I knew that I've done bad things, it was like every part of my being cried and melted in tears for the state I was in. I felt dirty, hurt, broken, and miserable.

He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 2 Corinthians 1:10

It's been a month and I've stopped having problem with my sexuality, I lost the same sex attraction, I am able to eat properly and my relationship with others has gotten better.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

When I realized what He has done, I realized that it's the world that rejects Him and on the contrary now He is hated and the world rejects His message while He came to save us.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
Isaiah 61:1 & Luke 4:18

The reason is because He came to bring testimony against this world to remind us that the deeds of the world and our deeds are evil. But now He is speaking to you, do not hide but realize that you are lost and take the opportunity that He's giving us so that we may live, regardless of everything. Because outside Him, there is nothing and this world will pass away and His judgment will come. Repent today so you will escape His judgment.

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12

I have found who He is. He is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, Deliverer, Savior, our only salvation. His name is... Jesus Christ.

Timothée