Just a little background - Ana and I dated for 6 years. Yes, we were in love but after a while, we started to feel empty. The relationship couldn't satisfy me anymore and I was always mad at her, blaming her for all the things I was feeling. Thinking we needed a spark, we tried to spice up our relationship by trying different drugs. Sure, we were happy when we were high, but after the high was gone, the emptiness was still left there. We both got depressed, and Ana even had EXTREME anxiety attacks because of the drugs. It reached the point when I wanted to kill myself. I knew I needed help and I didn't know who else to talk to--and that's when I reached out to Jesus. I didn't know what I was saying and "praying for" but the words just came out. I surrendered to Him fully and repented for all my sin.
I don't really post anything about this but I think it's time to tell people that I no longer represent the love that the LGBT community talk about. I now represent Jesus. I love all my friends so much—with real love and the joy that God has given me, that simply overflows. Hate, insecurities, emptiness, anger no longer has control over me. I am happy to say that Ana and I now have a relationship as SISTERS in Christ, and we no longer have the "love" we thought we knew. Our love is filled with the unconditional love of Christ.
I hope you don't take this as a hate message. There is an article that has a photo of Ana and I (to represent homosexuality) and I think I have the right to say what I believe is the Truth. I'm sorry for the people who decided to use our photo for this article. These things don't matter to me anymore. At the end of it all, when we die, our careers, successes, money and fame die, too. They all won't matter in the end. All that matters is where you will be going after and what that life looks like after. Jesus is the ONLY way and He is the ONLY one that can complete us. No other way. I do accept the hate, if you will, but I hope you take what I'm talking about with an open mind and heart.
"You will be hated by everyone because of My name. But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.” Matthew 10:23 HCSB
I don't mean to hurt anyone by posting this. The Love that God has given me is so great that I want people to know that there is more to life than what we think we have right now—so so much more.
“and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20 HCSB
To God be all the glory!
Carla Gastrock Pena
(The same photo was used in a news article on homosexuality)